Gift-giving is a life skill and the holidays are the ideal time to teach your kids how to do it in a thoughtful and budget-friendly way.

Giving gifts can be a beautiful experience for both the giver and receiver, and helps to build bonds and enhance relationships. Of course, kids love it. And as they grow older and become adults, buying gifts will be a regular occurrence on birthdays, holidays and special occasions such as weddings. In addition to family and loved ones, they could eventually find themselves shopping for neighbours, colleagues, teachers, housekeepers and dog walkers.

But it’s easy to overspend on gifts, and Christmas is especially problematic. Expectations are high and December can be frenetic. Taking the time to help your kids buy gifts that are special for the receiver and affordable for the giver is well worth it.

Kids can start giving gifts at young ages – somewhere around age five is a good time to begin. Start by providing total guidance, and as they get older, gradually step back from the process. By the time they are 16, they should be ready to handle the whole process on their own.

As for the money, at young ages it doesn’t matter who pays. Being involved in the choosing and buying is enough to give kids a sense of ownership and excitement. Making a gift is also a great idea for young kids as it gets them even more involved in the process.

When kids get to be around age 10, the value of money becomes more real and at this point having them chip in will cement the feelings of ownership. By age 16, depending on how much money they have and whether they have a part-time job, they can foot the entire bill.

No matter the age, parents can help make gift-giving a great experience by doing three things.

Make it a process. An experience isn’t just about the actual moment you do something. Feeling the anticipation of the event – whether that’s going on vacation, celebrating a birthday, or giving a gift – brings a lot of happiness. So make the gift-buying a process, from brainstorming through to the opening of the gift. Generate gift ideas by having your child talk about what the person likes.

Once they have a list, narrow it down to two or three things and then go shopping or assemble whatever supplies you need to make one. When the gift is in hand, have your child do the wrapping and give them the honour of putting it under the tree. These actions make up 95 per cent of the experience, so take the time to savour them.

Set guidelines. Gift-buying can feel overwhelming for anyone, so imagine how hard it can be for a child. Kids are new to the world of shopping and throwing them into it without guidance isn’t a good idea. Start by setting a price limit – it narrows down the options and immediately sends a message about the importance of budgeting.

You might also want to help them by choosing a category of gifts, such as something consumable. There may be things that are off limits, such as gift cards and cash. Avoid strolling the mall or scrolling online without some parameters or overspending is sure to follow.

Focus on the experience around the actual giving of the gift. Receiving a gift often isn’t about the actual item or what it costs – it’s about the sentiment and the experience around it. So, make the giving of the gift an event. Wrapping it is a great way to do this.

Make the wrapping funny, creative or extravagant. For example, the big joke in our house growing up was to put the gift in a boring box, such as the one the iron came in, creating a moment of confusion for the gift-opener. Another classic is to put a small gift in a huge box, or disguise it as something it isn’t.

Kids can also make their own wrapping paper using big sheets of white paper that they paint, draw on or decorate with stickers. Consider hiding the gift and giving the receiver a set of clues to follow to find it. Let your kids get creative and watch how the excitement grows.

With some thought and planning, gifts can be given without feeling the financial pinch. Kids who learn the skill of buying a gift can avoid the pitfalls of overspending later in life, and this can be your special present to your kids this year.

Anita Bruinsma
The Globe and Mail, December 8, 2024